Sunday, September 28, 2008

Dreaming

Do you ever have a dream and when you wake up you either wish it was real or glad it was not?

I have those too.

It has been 2 years, 3 months and 13 days since my father passed.

In the beginning I dreamed about him a lot, I would dream and he would be in them, I had dreams that he knew he was going to die, I had dreams that he was hugging me, I had dreams that he was just in, like my life used to be.

Those dreams stopped for a long time.

They are back again, I have been dreaming about him a lot, almost every other night. I dream that he his hugging me, I dream that he is just there, I dream that I am calling him, I dream that I am talking to him.

I wake up and I am not sure how I feel about these dreams.

I think I love them because it is "time" with him. Time I will never again get in "real" life. It is time I get to feel his presence, it is hugs that I get to feel in my dreams that I will never again feel for real.

Then sometimes I think I hate them because I have to wake up to reality.

THAT SUCKS!!

6 comments:

Brandi said...

Debbie,
I am sorry that the dreams are disturbing to you, and I completely understand having to wake up to them not being real. Sending hugs your way!

The Collins Family said...

I love this picture! I'm thinking about you girl!

BoufMom9 said...

Oh Debbie! I can understand your anguish over it all. It's a bittersweet time you get with your father.
You must be needing him right now, so enjoy spending the time with him. I am sure there is a "reason" he is visiting you...

diane said...

I've been dreaming of him too, I wondered why it was starting again, strange that it is true for us both. I miss him so very much.

Sharlene said...

Its hard. I have stages where my dad is in my dreams every night then others where he is gone for months. It makes me happy to have him there when he is healthy in the dreams but alot of the time he isn't. I think we have to cherish the time we get to spend with our dad, even if its in our dreams

Terri said...

So sorry you are having mixed feelings about this. I say enjoy the "time" you are getting with him. He IS there with you! (((hugs)))